What is my life? This is a question I frequently ask my self. When going about my daily life and everything is going just dandy, when something rather annoying, irritating, ironic, or just down right pathetic happens to me, this makes me think, if I'm being honest, what the fuck is my life?
For example, imagine a 15 year old girl after one stressful, tedious, and average school day is walking home with her dear pals. It is mid February in Liverpool and the weather is rather shit, there is ice on the pavement and the sky is grey and overcast. Her cheeks are red, and her ears and noes sting from the frost.
Her friend, lets call her Betty, decides to venture into the corner shop (what Betty rather, very nastily, calls 'the paki shop') . And so waiting, but not waiting patiently, our 15 year old spots a puddle. This puddle has frozen like the rest this time of year, and so our 15 year old decides to take her foot and starts tapping the ice puddle in order to break it.
It is then when a group of boys, about her age, 'swagger' (yes, swagger) past. It is then that our 15 year old, unwittingly, places her foot on hazardously slippy piece of ice and flies, somehow, with flailing arms into the air. Our 15 year old then not only lands hanging off the pavement onto the road, but lands with her nose mere centimeters from a pile of dog shit. Much to the amusement of the swaggering boys.
Just as you have guessed this 15 year old is me, or rather it was me 5 years ago. Not much has changed except now I am above 5ft, I have breasts and I am somewhat improved at flirting with men (that is to say i can now talk to them without going red).
This kind of disastrous occurrence happens to me on a regular occurrence, and it has just in recent days dawned upon me that I should not fight the amusement that this brings. So here I am, about share all of my embarrassing tales with the Internet. Tales that quite literally make me wish the earth would open up and eat me whole.
So enjoy...
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